Everything I'd like to say but can't because: I lied and said I had strep throat (continued)

As I was saying....

The heat from my racing heart causes me to remove my oversized hoody. My palms are sweaty and fidgety. My eyes are wide and I don't think I've blinked in a while. What am I going to say and how the hell am I going to say it? I keep repeating the words in my head. I'm Heidi _________ and I stutter. I'm Heidi ________ and I stutter. (It's a shame that this is the only interesting fact about myself that I can think of.)

Of course the voice in my head is fluent and strong. It is the voice that I imagine myself having when I give big important speeches that have everyone on the edge of their seats hanging on my every syllable. It is the voice I want almost as much as I wish I could sing.

I have to think fast. I am the first person in the second row. Do I introduce myself and risk the ridicule of my fellow classmates?.....Or......Do I lie?
 My throat has been sore for a couple of days. I had put it off to the fact that I have been around a lot of cigarette smoke since school started and I am slightly allergic. I took some cold medicine last night to alleviate the pain.
It worked.
My throat does not hurt today.
But I have to think fast.
I open up my binder to a fresh sheet of loose-leaf. I pick up my pencil and write down the most pitiful lie. The weakest excuse. I write down my security blanket. I could stand up and proudly declare my name and that I am interesting. But I don't because, instead, I lie and say I have strep throat.
     The professor is going down the rows. Each student clearly declares their name; their most precious gift; the one thing that belongs soley to them.
     It is my turn now. I pick up my shame and hand it to him. He is slightly confused and takes it from me hesitantly. He reads and chuckles a little and comments on my interesting fact. (I wrote that I loved to skydive. Although I have only been once, this part is true.) He announces to the class that I have strep. There are a few sympathetic groans but I feel the stares on the back of my head. I hear the whispers they are thinking.
She just wanted to get out of it.
I wish I had thought of that.
Yeah, right. Suuure she has strep. How convenient.

My pulse has returned to a normal pace for me and my skin is not as hot. My palm are just a bit clammy now and I can hear the names of the students. I did it. I have survived. No one laughed at me. I was not mocked.
But I am a liar.