It’s like drowning. Like Earth has stopped spinning and time is anxiously awaiting to begin again. Everyone is on the edge of their seats, staring in fear and confusion. Everything goes dark for the smallest portion of a split second and reality slips away. I am alone in my head with just that one word. I can see it. It’s on the tip if of my tongue, but no matter how far I reach, it’s just out of grasp. I start to trip, but just before I fall, I catch the tail end and am saved. Earth starts its lazy rotation, Time lets out a sigh of relief and the second hand quickly makes up for the lost moments. Everyone relaxes in their chairs and emits nervous coughs and quick, questioning glances to one another. They lower their gaze, and politely look away as if this is a private moment between me and that word; that word that is just out of reach; that word that is the most important thing to me for just a handful of seconds. I take a deep breath and fill my lungs with the sweetest tasting oxygen and I wonder to myself how long I went without breathing because lungs aren’t supposed to ache this much.
Ache.
There’s an ache in my throat from the strain. There’s an ache in my fingers from the fists they were just forced into. There’s an ache in my pride, the little pride that I have left. By now it’s just a tiny sliver that, if turned at just the right angle, would disappear completely from view. Just like me, if only I were to be so lucky.
